Safe Messaging Apps: Staying Connected After December 10

Social Media vs Messaging: What's the Difference?

Social Media (Age-Restricted):

• Public or semi-public content sharing
• Algorithmic feeds that promote viral content
• Follower/like systems
• Content discovery features
• Examples: Instagram, TikTok, X (Twitter)

Messaging Services (Exempt):

• Private, one-to-one or small group communication
• No public feeds or algorithms
• Focus on direct communication with known contacts
• Examples: WhatsApp, Signal, Telegram

Recommended Messaging Platforms

1. Signal — Best for Privacy

Age requirement: 13+ Status: Exempt

Privacy level: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Excellent

Why we recommend Signal:

Signal is the most privacy-focused messaging app available. It uses end-to-end encryption for all messages, calls, and media, and collects minimal user data.

Key features:

• End-to-end encryption Nobody (including Signal) can read your messages
• Disappearing messages Set messages to auto-delete after a time period
• No data collection Signal doesn't store metadata or user activity
• Open source Security experts can audit the code
• Group chats Up to 1,000 members
• Voice and video calls Encrypted calls
• Stories feature Like Instagram Stories but private

Best for: Privacy-conscious families, sensitive conversations, families who want minimal data collection

Drawbacks: Requires phone number to sign up, smaller user base than WhatsApp (fewer friends may use it), limited features compared to social media apps

How to set up:

1. Download Signal from App Store or Google Play
2. Verify phone number
3. Add contacts from phone book
4. Start messaging

Parent tip: Signal has no ads, no tracking, and no algorithm. What your teen sees is only what friends send directly.

2. WhatsApp — Most Popular

Age requirement: 13+ Status: Exempt

Privacy level: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Good

Why your teen will want WhatsApp:

WhatsApp is the most widely used messaging app globally (2+ billion users). If your teen's friends are on any messaging platform, it's likely WhatsApp.

Key features:

• End-to-end encryption Messages are private
• Group chats Up to 1,024 members
• Voice and video calls Free, encrypted calls
• Media sharing Photos, videos, documents
• Status feature Like Instagram Stories (visible to contacts only)
• Web/desktop app Use on computer

Best for: Staying connected with existing friend groups, international communication (very popular in Australia), families who want a widely-adopted platform

Drawbacks: Owned by Meta (Facebook/Instagram's parent company), shares some metadata with Meta, less private than Signal

Privacy notes: Meta can see who you message and when (but not message content), phone number is required and visible to contacts, some data shared with Meta for advertising (outside the EU)

How to set up:

1. Download WhatsApp from App Store or Google Play
2. Verify phone number
3. Add contacts from phone book
4. Start messaging

Parent tip: WhatsApp is end-to-end encrypted, meaning Meta cannot read message content. However, they can see metadata (who, when, how often).

3. Telegram — Feature-Rich Option

Age requirement: 13+ Status: Exempt

Privacy level: ⭐⭐⭐ Good (with caveats)

Why teens like Telegram:

Telegram offers more features than most messaging apps, including large group chats, channels, bots, and extensive customization.

Key features:

• Large group chats Up to 200,000 members
• Channels Broadcast to unlimited subscribers
• Secret chats End-to-end encrypted (must be enabled manually)
• File sharing Up to 2GB per file
• Bots and automation Powerful bot features for customization
• Cloud-based Access from any device

Best for: Large group communication, file sharing, community organizing

Drawbacks: Not end-to-end encrypted by default (only "Secret Chats" are), channels blur the line between messaging and social media, controversial content moderation policies

Privacy notes: Regular chats are stored on Telegram's servers (not end-to-end encrypted), "Secret Chats" must be manually enabled for privacy, no phone number required (can use username only)

How to set up:

1. Download Telegram from App Store or Google Play
2. Verify phone number (or use username)
3. Add contacts
4. Important: Use "Secret Chats" for private conversations

Parent tip: Telegram has public channels and groups that can expose teens to unmoderated content. Set privacy settings carefully.

4. Discord — Gaming & Communities

Age requirement: 13+ Status: Currently exempt (under review)

Privacy level: ⭐⭐ Medium

Why teens use Discord:

Discord is the primary communication platform for gaming and online communities. If your teen is a gamer, they likely already use Discord.

Key features:

• Voice and video chat Low-latency for gaming
• Servers (communities) Topic-based chat rooms
• Direct messages One-to-one or group chats
• Screen sharing Show gameplay or collaborate
• Bots and integrations Customizable server features

Best for: Gaming communication, hobby and interest-based communities, study groups and school projects

Drawbacks: Not primarily a messaging app (focus is communities/servers), public servers can expose teens to unmoderated content, less privacy-focused than Signal or WhatsApp, exempt status may change (it has social features)

Privacy notes: Discord collects user data for service improvement, public servers are visible to anyone, direct messages are private but not end-to-end encrypted

How to set up:

1. Download Discord from App Store, Google Play, or discord.com
2. Create account with email
3. Join servers or add friends
4. Set privacy settings

Parent tip: Discord's privacy settings are crucial. Review them together:

• Settings → Privacy & Safety → Enable "Keep me safe" (content filtering)
• Settings → Privacy & Safety → Disable "Allow direct messages from server members" (if desired)

Privacy Comparison

Setting Boundaries and Safety Rules

Messaging apps are safer than public social media, but conversations are still important:

Family Communication Guidelines:

1. Know who they're talking to

   • Only message people they know in real life
   • Be cautious about group chats with strangers

2. Privacy settings matter

   • Review privacy settings together
   • Disable "add to groups" by unknown people
   • Use strong, unique passwords

3. No sharing sensitive information

   • Don't share passwords, addresses, or location
   • Be cautious with photos that reveal personal details

4. What to do if something feels wrong

   • Tell a trusted adult immediately
   • Block and report concerning contacts
   • Save screenshots if needed for evidence

5. Screen time still matters

   • Set reasonable limits on messaging time
   • Encourage offline activities and face-to-face interaction

Helping Your Teen Transition

The shift from social media to messaging can be emotional. Here's how to help:

Acknowledge the loss

• "I know this feels unfair. You're losing a way to connect that was important to you."
• Validate their feelings without judgment

Focus on what's still possible

• "You can still talk to your friends every day through WhatsApp/Signal"
• "Let's plan some in-person hangouts"

Help them reconnect

• Assist in setting up messaging apps
• Help them add friends' contacts
• Encourage them to share their new contact info with friends

Emphasize in-person connection

• Social media isn't the only (or even best) way to connect
• Plan activities, outings, and face-to-face time